Several years later, she returned, but I didn't take advantage of her being here again; I didn't really spend time with her. She joined us on some road trips, and my family and I visited her in my aunt's apartment, but I didn't really spend any time with her. I didn't talk to her or share any moments with her. My memories of her from that part of my life mainly include her being in the hospital. There are no memories of us just sitting together, sharing a meal together, or having a conversation.
She began to get really sick and visited the hospital a few times before staying there for a few days, ending with her eventually passing away. I remember the one time my sister and I visited her in the hospital one of the days before she died. My mom and aunts were in the hospital room with my lola, cherishing what they knew would be some of their last moments with her. My mom stopped going to work and stayed in the hospital room with her. I didn't see my mom for a few days until I visited my lola in the hospital.
The day I visited her in the hospital, I wasn't in her room very long. I couldn't be. I ended up crying so hard that I was hyperventilating and could hardly breathe. It was the only time I cried like that, sobbed like that.
June 11, 2007 then came, and I was informed that my lola passed away. I don't remember how I found out. I don't remember who told me. I just remember that's when I lost her, the only grandparent of mine that I've ever known.
It was difficult. I remember cleaning out my closet around the time of her death, and I just couldn't do it. My room used to be my lola's room when she still lived with us. She still has lots of stuff in my closet. So when I was trying to clean it out and be productive and do something while this was going on, I just couldn't. Her stuff was there. She used to sleep in that room. She used to live there, pray there, just be there. So I cried as I sat on the floor in front of my closet, missing her and wishing I spent more time with her.
June 11, 2007, definitely taught me something. It's when I realized that I need to spend as much time as possible with the people I love. If I love someone, I need to cherish every moment I have with him/her and make it count, because tomorrow's not guaranteed. I don't want to look back on my relationship with anyone I love and wish that I spent more time with him/her like I did with my lola. And that's what I remember and try to do every year on June 11 since 2007.
R.I.P. Lola. I love you, and I miss you.
"Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had."
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